I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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