If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
