What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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