i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
