that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize