This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
