ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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