We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
