Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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