whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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