I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
