Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
