Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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