I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.