carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did