Texts From Last Night

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  (315): View more from New York

  You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.

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  (315): You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter. http://tfl.nu/a7op
  Replies (26) Good night (4418) Bad night (946)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.

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  (440): I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew. http://tfl.nu/1ouh
  Replies (19) Good night (4911) Bad night (661)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.

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  (651): It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks. http://tfl.nu/wi6e
  Replies (12) Good night (751) Bad night (3794)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you

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  (516): Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you http://tfl.nu/9qq5
  Replies (39) Good night (6311) Bad night (881)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up

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  (210): I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up http://tfl.nu/dh1d
  Replies (30) Good night (5416) Bad night (1232)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.

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  (717): Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning. http://tfl.nu/u4c9
  Replies (5) Good night (2106) Bad night (917)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  she could've warned me his penis was curved

  (708): View more from Illinois

  ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.

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  (630): she could've warned me his penis was curved (708): ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/vp5d
  Replies (14) Good night (1758) Bad night (4727)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old

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  (410): I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old http://tfl.nu/pmig
  Replies (9) Good night (2256) Bad night (1386)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.

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  (603): I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail. http://tfl.nu/cdnn
  Replies (3) Good night (598) Bad night (1374)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?

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  (570): Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer? http://tfl.nu/m731
  Replies (20) Good night (1674) Bad night (690)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?

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  (203): We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right? http://tfl.nu/13y7
  Replies (9) Good night (1441) Bad night (660)
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  (650): View more from California

  lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses

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  (650): lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses http://tfl.nu/4rg9
  Replies (12) Good night (1278) Bad night (759)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!

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  (509): It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me! http://tfl.nu/u8n7
  Replies (2) Good night (1237) Bad night (554)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?

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  (910): Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating? http://tfl.nu/5bmf
  Replies (2) Good night (1110) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.

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  (618): There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister. http://tfl.nu/tdo0
  Replies (7) Good night (1519) Bad night (743)

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