Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..

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(917): View more from New York City

I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(813): View more from Florida

It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood

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