it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.