Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."

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  (917): He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this." http://tfl.nu/rnir
  Replies (45) Good night (1116) Bad night (6650)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.

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  (765): my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes. http://tfl.nu/hrf7
  Replies (8) Good night (4434) Bad night (663)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa

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  (954): I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa http://tfl.nu/4mlw
  Replies (79) Good night (14322) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.

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  (630): I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME. http://tfl.nu/dxkz
  Replies (20) Good night (1243) Bad night (4069)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.

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  (314): I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger. http://tfl.nu/9k0s
  Replies (9) Good night (3860) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.

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  (713): Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day. http://tfl.nu/o38r
  Replies (4) Good night (2092) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!

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  (435): he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?! http://tfl.nu/3uuq
  Replies (19) Good night (1393) Bad night (3803)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.

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  (740): your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head. http://tfl.nu/v5j8
  Replies (13) Good night (1147) Bad night (2159)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.

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  (229): It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night. http://tfl.nu/etjs
  Replies (3) Good night (1412) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay

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  (920): if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay http://tfl.nu/6sqm
  Replies (3) Good night (988) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.

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  (804): hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too. http://tfl.nu/g160
  Replies (4) Good night (1378) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.

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  (253): T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night. http://tfl.nu/lo7s
  Replies (0) Good night (480) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick

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  (541): well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick http://tfl.nu/a9oc
  Replies (3) Good night (709) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.

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  (940): I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer. http://tfl.nu/cak3
  Replies (3) Good night (870) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.

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  (850): Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles. http://tfl.nu/5t8w
  Replies (4) Good night (486) Bad night (456)

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