Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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