just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
