And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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