I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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