You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize