Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
