hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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