I hate your face
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
