organizing the empties. That sober.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
