Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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