we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
How naked do you want me to be?
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