its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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