What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
