Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
is wine microwaveable?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
