Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Having a random hookup so left but love u
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
