Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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