just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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