Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
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Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
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I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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