Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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