Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well I just put wine in my tea
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
