Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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