i think i have herpe
just one?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize