I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
