even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
