omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
