My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
im holly from the hills drunk
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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