I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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