WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
