Having a random hookup so left but love u
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
