i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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