My liver just broke up with me...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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