I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
