Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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