And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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