Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
