You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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