It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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