Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
