Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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