I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
