Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
