Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
