like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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