Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
