it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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