I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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