this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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