You were right. It hurts to walk today.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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