I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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