I CAN MOONWALK!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
