Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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